L.A. Oddities Observed

Los Angeles is a city of unusual pairings.

By that, I don't mean ugly rock stars dating tanned, gorgeous supermodels. I mean things like the classic ROSCOE'S Chicken & Waffles. Or the first time I saw a sign in my neighborhood that said, CHINESE FOOD. DONUTS. I could walk there, but I don't.

When I have a craving for donuts (which is almost never) I don't think of the Chinese Place and vice-versa.

Initially, I thought this was a stand-alone Chinese Food Donut Shop. I couldn't imagine there would be demand for more than one, but no-- there are several in the Los Angeles area and no one really knows why. It too shall remain a mystery.

Another oddity that almost-sorta-makes-sense-in-some-strange-way is the All-Nude Strip Club that stood next door to AIDS Project/LA. I'll admit, they are related to each other, but--

I would think if you're going to a strip club, AIDS and STD reminders would be a turn-off.

Maybe that was the point. I walked by there today to discover the strip club went under, so to speak. Now they're renovating it into a banquet hall. So, you can have your wedding and birthday and/or bar/bat mitvah and treat everyone to an AIDS test next door. Sounds like a party!

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In the world of movies, many things don't make sense--especially if they're directed by David Lynch or increasingly, Steven Soderbergh.

This time though, I'm talking about Project X. Released this week, it's a comedy about three teenagers that throw a birthday party that spirals out of control. What's ironic is: it's a movie about teenagers yet it's rated R so most teenagers (under 17 years of age) can't see it unless they are accompanied by a parent or legal guardian.

The tagline is: The party you've only dreamed about.

All those teenagers still dreaming... as they're being turned away. Hollywood must enjoy teasing them like that.

Oh, look-- it's a movie about people like you BUT you can't join the party. Not yet-- unless you bring your Mom and Dad with you. Ha, ha.
~Love, Hollywood.

In fact, most of the underage cast can't legally see their own movie. This all makes about as much sense as Chinese Food Donuts. Who is the audience for Project X, I wonder? My only guess is that it's for high school seniors (over 17) and horny old men who, having been turned away from the (aforementioned) CLOSED strip club, deposit themselves in the back row of a darkened theater. Ewww... That's L.A. for you.

Tip the world and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
~Frank Lloyd Wright

©2012 by KLiedle

Detoxing The Sweet And The Strange Ways We Eat

I hadn't worked in the entertainment business long before I'd first heard the word, "detox." It came out of the mouth of a make-up artist. She'd just finished her fifth chocolate chip cookie from the craft service table. With cookie crumbs still dancing on her lips, she was absolutely determined to detox as soon as the movie wrapped.

Later, I worked on another project in which the lead actress only ate tuna. She'd request tuna salad kits which I'd dutifully bring to her trailer. (I wasn't too far up on the production totem pole then, nor am I now--in all reality.) Standing there in her trailer, I'd witness her grab the itty bitty can of tuna and discard the accompanying crackers and mayo packet. Often, I wondered why I bothered with the "tuna kit" but apparently a can of tuna was just way too pedestrian for an actress of her C-level status.

Roscoe Chicken and Waffles, Chinese Fast Food & Donuts.... if there's a mecca for eating oddness, fad diets and strange eating habits, L.A. would be the place. On an indie film, I met an extra that wasn't joining the rest of the crew when we broke for lunch. When I asked her why, she told me she was fasting. For the past three days, she'd only consumed fruit and vegetable juices.

"After five days, I can graduate to solid foods," she said.

Funny, I thought. She didn't look like an infant. She looked like a healthy, adult woman. As adults, hadn't we both qualified for solid foods for quite awhile?

Just as restrictive, I once had a boss that ate only yogurt and shredded wheat. Sometimes, she'd make sugar-free Jell-o and on very special occasions, she'd treat herself to a Lean Cuisine and a 2-liter of Diet Coke that disappeared well before it ever had a chance to go flat. I used to think that I had strange eating habits. I confess to sometimes eating ice cream for dinner or cereal after 10 p.m. -- even eating raw cookie dough even though I know I shouldn't (the eggs, people, the eggs!)

The beat went on. Everyone I looked people in L.A. and the world at large had stranger habits than I ever had. There's the old time Cabbage Soup Diet, The Lemonade Diet
(brought to the surface by Beyonce after Dreamgirls), The Special K Challenge, The Raw Food Diet, and my personal favorite: The Hollywood Cookie Diet. (Does anyone actually fall for that one?)

Less official is The Coffee Bean Diet (where I worked for a time.) My co-workers and I coined the diet after witnessing the number of regulars that came in for ice-blendeds more than two or three times a day. We surmised that they were consuming nothing else and, as it turned out, we were mostly right. Some would even say that they'd skip lunch every day to make room for their ice-blended. Great if you're treating yourself once in awhile, horrible if your body is expecting some semblance of nutrition beyond caffeine, SUGAR, and milk in the middle of an activity-filled day.

For those of you who have suffered through the wacky, I'm telling you: the best diet isn't a diet at all, it's a lifestyle of making healthy choices and a philosophy of treating yourself well, body and all. I'm not perfect at it myself, but I do know that there's always room for ice cream. And that advice applies whether you work in Hollywood or not.

Copyright © 2008 KLiedle

Photo credits: Christi Nielsen/flickr
Hermanall/flickr