There are days, weeks, months when nothing goes wrong. Every day unfolds like the one before it and tomorrows awaken as they always have. Nothing miraculous, nothing disastrous.
We all have luck-- I believe in it-- but luck comes in waves that are both good and bad-- yin and yang, positive and negative. The good luck and the bad luck interact with each other to bless me with experiences that make me as I am.
This has been a hectic and emotional roller-coaster of a week. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed by work and the prospects of finding another job in this "blast-off-bottle rocket"economy. I've been moving forward with our show, "It's Always Smoggy In L.A." working in post on a couple of episodes, developing marketing/publicity ideas and beginning pre-production on another episode slated to shoot next month.
Then, an external hard drive failed. "Grrreeattt....," I thought-- "less than a year old" with video files, raw footage, the works. We were able to recover some files and put the data onto another hard drive that awesomely failed two days later for no reason whatsoever. It just no longer "mounted" onto my desktop and seemed corrupted in some way. I left it alone. I just didn't want to deal with it. Whatever. Pissy mood.
Then, Saturday, July 18-- as I wished one friend a happy birthday I learned I'd lost another friend: Christine Niemi. Just 32, she'd been diagnosed with colon cancer only a handful of years ago. She'd been feisty against it, doing all she could to fight her illness while spreading the word about cancer prevention and cancer research through her blog and her activism with C3: Colorectal Cancer Coalition
Suddenly, stupid little annoyances didn't seem like much anymore. Christine in life [and in death] taught me a lot: Seize the moment. Reach toward your goals-- what have you got to lose? Keep a positive attitude. Find yourself and be yourself. Don't compromise. Never take your health or body for granted. Laugh whenever you can. Cry when you need to. And above all, be kind to yourself and to others.
Sure, the external hard drive crashes still piss me off and I'm still figuring that out. Disk Warrior?? I don't know. I have a job--though it may not be the most ideal one for now. I've got other challenging projects on the horizon that are sometimes stressful, yet always rewarding and helping me to develop as a person. Life will go on. Things will fall into place.
That day [Saturday], thoughts started circulating, words started formulating. I put other things aside and allowed myself to think. I wrote a poem called No Longer Of This World (and though I'm a writer, I don't normally write poetry. I stopped at the library and got a book called Meditation For Beginners and another one on how to write a living will. Because there will always be things in life that are difficult, but necessary. And though I don't look forward to those things, when faced with them, I want to be prepared and calm and know that I did the best I could.
No Longer Of This World
Christine Niemi's Blog: Colon Cancer Sucks Ass
Copyright 2009 by KLiedle
Flower photo credit: Ban Mae Raem
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