Just One Bite! (Foods that should not exist)

Early in the morning, I approach a craft service truck and I'm instantly confronted by it: The inescapable, God-knows-why-it-exists, breakfast burrito.

I've never understood the phenomenon of the breakfast burrito. "Oh, okay, let's just roll up some bacon and eggs and some leftover herbs with some ham and onion and anything else we can scrounge up and Voila-- a tortilla smorgasbord of goodness! Uh, no thanks."

Given the choice, I'll always opt for cold, sludgy oatmeal with raisins, dried cranberries (if I'm lucky) and granola. To me, breakfast burritos belong in the same category as pot pies, another food item that should not exist. Pot pies exchange the tortilla for puff pastry and usually include a creamier chicken ensemble. Of course, you can throw ham or bacon or eggs in there, too.

This made me start thinking about other food items that should really not exist. Beets and bean sprouts top my list. I believe the bright red color of beets is a warning from nature alerting us that they are not meant for human consumption. Egg yolks are another one. I remember meticulously removing what I referred to as the "icky yellow part" of the egg. I was probably five at the time... and I still refer to egg yolks as the "icky yellow part." All the protein is in the white anyway. They have seedless watermelon. I wish there was a way to make a yolkless egg, but somehow I don't see that happening. I end up wasting yolks or paying a premium for egg beaters cartons. I also don't understand why they bother canning peas. Once they're canned, they automatically assume a pukey green color and a mushy, already-digested mouthfeel. I feel sorry for the pea that finds itself canned.

As much as I hate (and question some foods), I've discovered that I like some foods that I never, ever would touch as a kid. I now like yams. Yams, for god's sake! I also like cashews...a lot...and I always used to tease my dad for liking them. I thought they were beyond disgusting. I even drink almond milk and soy milk and sometimes I even eat cabbage-- on purpose. I'm a coffee fiend, something I swore to my mother would never, ever happen in this lifetime.

So, even as an adult-- force yourself to try "just one bite." You may find that, even among the sometimes odd selection at craft service or your nearest buffet, you'll rediscover something you never thought you'd like. I don't see myself changing my opinion on breakfast burritos or pot pie anytime soon though.

Copyright 2009 KLiedle
Photo credit: thinguy/flickr and sashertootie/flickr